To Jackhammer ...

... as opposed to Not To Jackhammer.

It's been three months since I twisted Shakespeare’s words, and this problem has nearly driven me insane duing that time. Since my last blog post on the subject (this is the master bathroom toilet drain, in case you forgot), I took a shot at repairing this, failed, hired a plumber, which ended in a bigger disaster, and today I finally rented the jackhammer.

It's much less impressive than you were expecting, huh? Technically it’s a 20 lb. demolition hammer. It was perfect for this job. As a side note, the lady working the tool rental desk at Home Depot said people rent these to remove tile. So, if you ever need to remove tile, this is your secret weapon.

None of my projects ever goes off without a hitch. Only I could get BOTH chisels stuck under the pipe. I got the first one stuck, then got the second one stuck while trying to free the first one. I had to cut the pipe to rescue them.

This is where I am.  My test plug is in the pipe and has sealed off the gases (for now). I think that means I get to sleep in my own bed tonight.  Sleeping upstairs in a single bed with one to three dogs trying to join me has not helped my sanity.

That rebar speaks to the quality of this house's construction. It's thinner than a pencil.


If you followed my facebook posts, you would know the plumber wanted $1700 for this job, including credit for the $600 I had already paid him, bringing the total to $2300. It took me about 2 hours, including getting the chisels stuck.  Of course he was going to glue in the new PVC pieces, which won't take me very long.  He wasn’t going to repair the tile, and it was unclear to me if that price included replacing the concrete. I had quit listening to him by that point, but I do know that concrete is currently a whopping $3.35 per 80 lb bag.
 
I'm experienced now, and I won't make the chisel mistake again, so if you're looking for someone to tear up your foundation to replace a PVC fitting, I'll only charge you $1000.  :)  I'll even pour the concrete, but you're on your own for the tile.

Plumber Joke

I saw this joke on another blog.  It hits so close to home that I'm not sure I find it funny ...

One day a lawyer has a problem with his sink and has to call in a plumber to fix it. The plumber shows up, fixes it in 20 minutes, and says, "That'll be $200."

"What?" gasped the lawyer.  "You only worked for 20 minutes! That means it is $600/hour! I'm a lawyer and I only charge $300/hour."

"I understand your pain," said the plumber.  "I used to be a lawyer, too."

To Jackhammer or Not To Jackhammer

After taking a vacation from my projects, I decided I was ready to tackle one of the more difficult and least pleasant items on my to-do list – the master bathroom toilet. I have fixed several different vent pipe issues in that bathroom and had narrowed down the final foul smell to the toilet. Once before, when I was a mere junior plumber, I took the toilet off, decided nothing was wrong, then put it back (with a new wax ring, of course, I wasn’t *that* junior).


But, oh, have I grown in my wisdom and knowledge of toilet flanges since …

As soon as I removed the toilet this time, I noticed that the flange was not only not level, but it was also not on top of the finished floor. Worse, I recognized it as a replacement flange. Someone else had attempted to fix this, but they didn’t do it right. I was unaware of any products to fix the fix. It was “unlevel” enough to be too high on one side and too low on the other.

Thank goodness for the Internet.

A few suggestions later and I was on my way back to HD for the second time that day. I never did find the PVC pipe cutting attachment for my drill, but I did get a better chisel.

As I chipped away around the flange, I soon realized that tile grout was the only thing holding it in place. Pop, off it came. No glue, no silicone, no bolts to the slab. Nothin’. Um, people, grout is not an adhesive material. Furthermore, it is POROUS. And sewer gas SMELLS BAD!!!

That is a picture of where the stuff goes when you flush the toilet in my master bathroom. Lovely, isn't it?

Now, can I assume that the pieces of PVC on either end of that bend are properly glued and sealed (not always a valid assumption in this house)? Do I rent a jackhammer and replace all of it, just to be sure?

Incidentally, the space between the outside of the pipe and the concrete slab was full of dirt. WTF?

Plumbing Under Pressure

I had a couple of big, burly friends come move the bathtub from the garage to the second floor today.  Thanks guys!  And it wasn't a minute too soon.  You see, I'm refinancing the house.  Mortgage rates are low, and it seems like a good idea.  Well, the !@#*&!^ loan officer didn't tell me until AFTER the $395 appraisal that my remodeling-in-progress bathroom would prevent my loan from closing.

"So, I'm out $395?" I ask.

"Yeah, pretty much," he says.

I'm too tired to be angry.  Defeated is a better description.  This is just par for the course with this !@#^& house.  He weakly apologized for not asking me up front if I had any remodeling projects going on.  The appraiser suggested he just deduct the "cost to cure" the bathroom from the appraised price, but according to the loan officer, his investors "won't go for that."

So ...

Plan A
Lose the appraisal fee (and time served doing paperwork) and walk away.  Finish the bathroom at my leisure.  (OK, OK, admittedly the bathroom has been tub-less for a year now.  How much more leisure do I need?).

Plan B
Plumb under pressure ... forget finishing the ceiling, install the tub, put up cheap, one-piece walls (a tub isn't good enough, it has to have shower walls, too), and satisfy the appraiser, all within the next two weeks.  Then (after closing) remove the cheap walls and tile the "right" way at my leisure.

Sigh.

So far I've been on Plan B since about noon today.  I bought some parts.  That's as far as I've gotten.

I don't have a Plan C.

But I no longer have a bathtub in my garage!

Ask and You Shall Receive

I was asked to update my blog! Apparently someone is interested in my home-improvement projects … or they just needed a good laugh at my expense.

So, in the last 6 months, I have …

Found another leaking hot water supply line. I learned how to solder pipes (thank you, YouTube) and fixed it myself. In the process, the master plumber who works the plumbing aisle in Home Depot was impressed that that this “young lady” was doing the work herself. I’d still like to find the loser “plumber” who did the original work in this house and string him up by his toenails.

Cut out and replaced the upstairs toilet drain from the power room below. There was an offset flange turned 90 degrees the wrong way. Why an offset flange? And why turned the wrong way? I couldn’t get the new toilet set right w/out this fix.

The smells disappeared briefly, but they are back. I’m trying to psych myself up to work on this again … I just really don’t wanna ... but I’m afraid of how much a plumber would charge me. I can be a little cheap that way. Plus, I hate having strange repairmen in my house, and according to me, all repairmen are strange.

Tore down the drop ceiling over the upstairs tub and replaced it (the ceiling).

Bought a new tub … it’s still sitting in the garage.

Fixed most of the laundry room ceiling. It still needs to be textured and painted. That “only” took me a year. I dislike sanding joint compound about as much as I dislike replacing toilets.

Routed the cable TV cable through the walls, rather than through the window. The house was built B.C. (Before Cable). The only thing remarkable about this project is that while doing it, I stumbled upon a walled-off former wet bar that had leaking water supply lines. It was more opportunity to use my new soldering skills.

Finished most of the trim work w.r.t. the kitchen counters and floor.

Finished the jungle gym. That “only” took two years. Placed a ton (literally) of sand under it. Who has the coolest Mom in the whole world????

Added new landscaping to the backyard.

PAID someone (look, look, I hired some workers!) to install sprinklers and someone else to put in 6 yards of mulch. I’m saving up my energy for the plumbing issues. I do draw the line at digging trenches all over my yard, even though my co-workers insist I should be an expert at gluing PVC by now.

Paid someone else to install a new oven, but only because it weighed 230 lbs, and I didn’t feel like dropping that on myself.

Did a bunch of electrical work in the kitchen and garage.

Replaced the pool vacuum booster pump.

The to-do list

I’m afraid to put it in writing for fear that it will depress me. Here are the highlights (lowlights) of what remains (that I am aware of, there are always surprises popping up):

Fix whatever is causing the smells!!!! I have a couple of new ideas to try out … the next time I get motivated to play with waste water pipes … blehhhhhhh.

Finish the upstairs bathroom – install tub, fan, lights, cabinets, paint, and probably pay someone to do the mirrors and countertops. This begs the question – what exactly have I completed in the upstairs bathroom?

Completely re-do the master bathroom. This requires the upstairs bathroom to be done, first. Targeting before Marissa graduates from high school.

Replace the powder room sink and cabinet. A new ceiling would probably be nice, too, since the old one is no longer there (refer to toilet drain repair above).

Finish replacing my last two HVAC ducts. This is about as much fun as playing with waste water pipes. I’ll just wait until it gets cold again … like December would be good.

Convert the pool to salt water. This should pay for itself in less than two year’s worth of chlorine.

Add a range hood to the kitchen. The previous owners took it out. (WHY???) This requires more holes in the ceiling, followed by more joint compound sanding. See my problem?

Do something about the kitchen peninsula countertop.

Replace the laundry room cabinets.

Add/expand drains to prevent Rodgers River the next time it rains 2 inches in 1 hour.

Add/replace more landscaping.

Replace the rotted siding.

Install the zip line (I’ll ask again - who has the coolest Momma ever?!?!??!)

Mods to the swingset were requested. Drawings were provided, along with a schedule and promises to help. The only thing she didn’t do was give me a bill of materials. She’s a little like her Momma. Her schedule was too optimistic, too, just like her Momma. Momma sometimes thinks she can finish all of the above in one weekend.

I’ll check in again in another 6 months and let you know it took more than one weekend …